btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
