I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
