yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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