She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
