it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
