Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The adults are the big ones right?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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