I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
