My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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