My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
