for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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