I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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