There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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