sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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