Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Are we in a gay sports bar?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
