wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
