We won't sleep together?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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