O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
