Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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