Don't you send me to vm
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
