apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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