Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
