party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
