after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
