that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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