Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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