I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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