Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
