Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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