i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
