My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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