ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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