Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
