She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
