Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
