At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
