You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
