You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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