Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
