she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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