i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
