why didn't you poke me back
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
