i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
