Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
