8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
