My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize