Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
