Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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