ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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