we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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