ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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