No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
