woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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