There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
