today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
