so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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