There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
