One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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