So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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