I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
