dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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