I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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