I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
