I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
