Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
